something about being like rich and famous, he's in nice clothes and sipping on drinks by the pool

he created a type of style that tries to be rich and awesome but instead he's in a ugly bus

trying to make a new dance song that everyone knows the steps to when it comes on

verse about some girls

Class Blogger

To start off class, we met with our groups to discuss some final details for our final project. My group is basically done with our project, all that's really left is to do both the group reflection and the individual reflection. While we were in our groups Ms. Lang walked around and gave everybody back our last paper about advertisements.

We did this for about 10 minutes and then we moved on to our group presentations for our projects. My group went first, our magazine is called Sports Lifestyle and is mainly geared toward Men's health and how they live.

They group that presented called their magazine 24-Hour Mom. It is a Christmas edition of the magazine that follows a red and green color scheme. The front page with its older looking picture was geared towards older parents while the table of contents photo of a young couple is to attract younger moms. They all are basically nutrition articles dealing with something around Christmas time such as milk.

They next group that went up had a magazine entitled Das Mens Health. It is also a men's health magazine that is supposed to be a German publication that was translated to English. It is geared towards younger men because it deals with drinking, smoking, Mcdonalds, and weed smoking which in Germany are socially acceptable at a younger age. This range is what the group was trying to target.

The next group had a magazine called Mid-Life Crisis. They had a Newsweek theme cover and where all about guns, cars, and anything that dealt with a midlife crisis. The interesting part of their magazine was that their article titles were not just some random articles they found. They created article titles that also spoofed their spoof ads. Unfortunately I was not able to get a photo of their magazine cover.

The final group to present created a magazine that used an already published magazine called People. Their issue was all about fame and family because the fame included their article on Absolute Vodka and Heineken while the family part of the issue dealth with animal cruelty especially with puppies and buying the right products for your family.

After all the groups presented Ms. Lang talked about the deadlines for our final project and how everything was due on Friday December  7, 2012. She then talked about the papers that she gave back and how when we refer to our selves we should use men and women if we want to be treated like men and women, not boys and girls.

gangnam style

something about his own style causes of how hes dressed

something about a girl cause he keeps chasing after them

hes acting rich and famous cause he's sipping on drinks and it expensive looking places

peer review

This peer review was really helpful. I found out that ive made a bit to many generalizations and i need to give a little more evidence about them so they have some backing. All the peer reviews have been helpful in their own ways but honestly the best type we have done this year is the one on one with someone else. Talking face to face is better because it gives it a more personal feel and you can clarify certain points of confusion. Instead of just someone reading your paper and not being able to clarify points for them could cause them to see the paper the wrong way and make them give advice that makes no sense whats so ever. Along with having someone to clarify confusing points during the review you also get to see the type of person they are which helps you understand their writing better and you can see what they are trying to do better.

Spoof Ad

this advertisement is depicting the nike zoom's which is one of there best selling brands they have created. however instead of highlighting the actual shoe with bright colors and crazy designs they make the shoe all black. they also make the shoe look worn out and destroyed a bit. this gives the shoe an aurora of old and bad. Then on the actual shoe there is a dotted line down the middle that makes it seem as if there are trying to show two sides of a story. the two sides that they want to show are the side of where its made and the side of where its bought. the right side says sweatshop 83 cents, while the left side says nike 250 dollars. I believe its an anti-ad campaign against nikes use of manufacturing their shoes in sweatshop and exploiting workers in other countries. However it benefits them because when they bring it back and finalize it as a nike shoe its worth 250 dollars. I also think it is an anti-ad against branding because they put sweatshop on the right and at that time when it is a sweat shop shoe its only worth 83 cents but then it becomes part of the nike brand and the price sky rockets out of control. This ad is trying to take consumers away from the glamour of the shoe and get consumers to look at the inhumanity taking place.

Bicycle

I looked up at my grandfather with amazement as he put something on my head. I dont know what it is or what it is for but its my grandpa so i just accept it. Next thing I know he disappears and whatever I am sitting on starts moving. I am a little scared at this point because i cant see Papu but I hear his voice, I here him singing "La cucaracha, la cucaracha..." so I know I am safe. We keep riding around for awhile and the whole time I can here my grandfathers voice. It wasnt until I saw my house that his voice stopped but I knew i was still safe. I come to stop and there is Papu once again but this time he's taking off whatever he put on my head. He picks me up and I look at what we were on, its a bicycle. I dont know why i loved it so much but i did. This was one of the first memories i have of my grandfather before he left, before he was taken. We would ride around for ours at a time and Papu would sing to me during the entire ride. These where some of my favorite times with my grandfather and it wasnt until i was older did i understand that while me and him would ride around for 3-4 hours at a time he was running a huge and international company. I dont know how he was able to spend so much time with me and still be able to run his company successfully. However i respected him that much more when i learned this. It wasnt until 8 years ago did my grandfather begin to leave us. He started forgetting things, important things, he wasnt able to drive anymore, and his sight was getting worse and worse by the day. At first I really didnt understand, i just thought hey he's getting old and this happens but ill help him in whatever way i can. So i did. It worked for a couple of years, me and my grandfather were a team. I was always with him and helped him remember certain things that happened throughout the day and remember important events like birthdays and such. As happy as i was to help my grandfather i also got a front row seat to his departure. There was one day about 4 years ago that i walked in to his office to say hi and he had no idea who i was or why i was there. It was at this point that i knew he was gone. Alzheimer's had taken the man who raised me, the man who loved me, and the man i wanted to become from me. For that i hate it. However since that day i have never looked back, i only look forward so  i can become the man that my grandfather was. A great business man, a family man, but most of all Papu. He is and forever will be my inspiration in anything i do. I measure my actions based on what i think Papu would have done in certain situation. I have lost my grandfather in this life however he lives on in my heart and in my the rest of my families hearts. For to live on in hearts we leave behind is not to die.

EDIT:

I looked up at my grandfather with amazement as he put something on my head. I dont know what it is or what it is for but its my grandpa so i just accept it. Next thing I know he disappears and whatever I am sitting on starts moving. I am a little scared at this point because i cant see Papu but I hear his voice, I here him singing "La cucaracha, la cucaracha..." so I know I am safe. We keep riding around for awhile and the whole time I here my grandfathers voice. It wasnt until I saw my house that his voice stopped but I knew i was still safe. I come to stop and there is Papu once again but this time he's taking off whatever he put on my head. He picks me up and I look at what we were on, its a bicycle. I dont know why i loved it so much but i did. This was one of the first memories i have of my grandfather before he left, before he was taken. We would ride around for hours and Papu would sing the entire ride. These where some of my favorite times with my grandfather and it wasnt until i was older that i learned that my grandfather was CEO of a huge and international company. I dont know how he was able to spend so much time with me and still be able to run his company successfully. However i respected him that much more for it. It wasnt until 8 years ago did my grandfather begin to leave us. He started forgetting things, important things, he wasnt able to drive anymore, and his sight was getting worse and worse by the day. At first I really didnt understand, i just thought hey he's getting old and this happens but ill help him in whatever way i can. So i did. It worked for a couple of years. My grandfather and I were a team. I was always with him and helped him remember certain things that happened throughout the day and remember important events like birthdays and anniversaries. As happy as i was to help my grandfather i also got a front row seat to his departure. There was one day about 4 years ago that i walked in to his office to say hi and he had no idea who i was or why i was there. It was at this point that i knew he was gone. Alzheimer's had taken the man who raised me, the man who loved me, the man i wanted to become. For that i hate it. However since that day i have never looked back, i only look forward so  i can try and become the man that my grandfather was. A great business man, a family man, but most of all Papu. He is and forever will be my inspiration in anything i do. I measure my actions based on what i think Papu would have done in certain situation. I have lost my grandfather in this life however he lives on in my heart and in my the rest of my families hearts. For to live on in hearts we leave behind is not to die. 

Peer review

After the peer review i am confident that my paper is now headed in the right direction. I was really iffy on the topic to begin with and really couldnt decide what to write about. once i got the idea about Cudi i knew i was going to write a good paper. I am also confident in all of my examples because they are about songs that i really enjoy. so instead of it being something random that i didnt mind for i actually care about making sure my views can be seen clearly because i have enjoyed all these songs so much. I will deff want to change the voice i used and include more I rather than us and we because i wasnt sure if i could use the first person in the essay. for sure ill change the entire essay to reflect my views rather than a subject view. The part i wont change is how many songs i used because i think that include the entire album works better together rather than only a couple of songs. Using the entire album as well also gives me the chance to talk about the story of the track list and how it tells a story in and of its own.

Feedback on paper 2

got some good feedback on my paper today. I thought i was completely off on the way i was writing this but after this i know im on the right track. I need to go back and use I more because while i was writing it I got the feeling that it couldnt be in first person for some reason. I for sure go back and and re-write it so its all in the first person. My feedback says that i might consider limiting the numbers of songs i reference but i dont know if that will work just because the paper is about the album as a whole. I will though include another paragraph going into detail about what i see before the songs and another paragraph at the end explaining what i see now and how it has changed and if any of my first guesses were correct or wrong. I also will include more about how the lyrics work in the actual album its self and how even the titles start to explain the main points of his journey as the man on the moon.

peer review #2

 1. i am going to analyze a tv show from hbo and compare it to a review by someone famous. along with a comparison to a poster from the show.

2. ill approach this paper as a compare and contrast between what the reviewer says and what the actual show is about

3. i chose the show because i was watching it and a flash of the poster came up and i decided to use that. it wasnt until Shannon suggested i use a review of the show as my text. It actually made sense so i think i am going to use that.

4. what text will you add to the essay?
and
how much visual will you include?

Photo's

1. The photo is of a man and an old lady at a dinner table. The man is sitting down on the phone ashing a cigarrette while some old lady who could be his mom or grandma is laying down on his lap basically with her head just above the table. Her face is right next to the cigarette so you dont really know he is smoking it or he is helping her smoke it. In the bottom corner you can see a giant glass of what looks like sangria which is delicious.

2. The photo is composed from what looks to be from a family member who was having dinner with them and saw the chance to take a funny photo so they just whipped out their phone and took a picture. The man looks like he didnt know there was a picture being taken but the old lady for sure knows. What draws your attention is the old lady is lying down at the dinner table and her head is just popping out of where the guy is sitting. You look at it and your just like what the hell is going on.

3. the photo is kind of telling both a short and long story. The short story that its trying to tell us is that that is one weird family.  The longer story is about a dinner party where they all have obviously been drinking and its just finished with this photo being the end result.

4. Certain people might find this offensive because the man is smoking inside the house and the old lady has been drinking, heavily by the looks of the glass but me personally and my position just make me see a happy family having dinner together and drinking which leads to even a better time with the family.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

Intro/Outro

My introduction uses a couple of strategies from the Mcgraw handbook. The first and major strategy it uses for my introduction is that I state an important question. However I do not only state one question, I state a couple important questions. After posing these question I lead into a relevant story of my brother and how video games affected not only his but my life as well. 

My conclusion is a little more simplistic than my intro, however i find that it works better because if its simple then everyone understands it. My conclusion only uses the strategy of summarizing my main points of my paper. At the same time however i also present a powerful image with example of how games have also been used to train my brain and allow it to work efficiently even under stressful conditions. 

I believe my conclusion does answer the questions of "so what?" because of the fact that my final sentences not only summarize my main points but they also explain how they've changed my view of this world and why that matters. It also states why games have helped my life. 

Peer Review #2

This weeks peer review i thought went rather well. I found common ground with someone I had never talked to because of my paper. I got a lot of positive feedback from him about my paper and a few pointers on how to fix some issues that I knew my paper had. Nothing really went wrong during the review but I did get a little discouraged when he said I had a weak concluding sentence but it wasnt my real conclusion because I decided to end my paper with a quote. I am going to have to switch up a couple things so the quote becomes more noticeable. I also need to figure out a way to organize my first paragraph so that it makes more sense. I think all the things that I went over with my peer are most likely going to change. There isnt much that I wouldnt change.

HELP

I got a lot of great feedback on my first draft from Heather today. The main area where I need to make changes is my story where I fell into the pitfall of popularity. It changed my whole gaming experience for a time. After looking at the paragraph and looking at her feedback I have decided that I need to add more detail to some aspects of the story. More directly to each sport and the video game that helped me. For madden I will probably add detail about how it taught me route running and blocking for our running backs. Also I will add detail regarding 2k and how it taught me to always space the floor and when and how to make cuts towards the basket. I will also add how it taught me a lot of defensive schemes, which at my age was a huge advantage considering most kids that did play only understood man-to-man rather than zone's and halfcourt traps. Doing this will help my paper a good amount because for all my other stories about how video games affected my life are rather long and detail oriented. It will make my paper look more symmetrical because instead of some of my stories being long and some being short with no detail they all feel the same. At the same time however one story took a little to long to tell so I will probably have to cut out some detail within it but not take away from the whole message of the story.

Group Stage

I received a lot of great feedback today in class from some of my peers. My paper was on video games and how they changed throughout my time and how that affected me along side it. Some great feedback that I received was from my peers about how it flowed well. It was sort of a timeline which was perfect for what I was writing for. Some other feedback that my group member received on their drafts was to make sure that you can write 4-6 pages on your idea. If you don't feel like you can you might want to add or change the idea of the paper. If you can however go for it and don't stop till you literally cant write anymore. My discovery draft really didn't have much in terms of detail. It was more to get the idea of what i wanted to write about more than anything. My next draft will definitely have a lot more detail about the games and about how they affected me as an individual and socially. I don't think I got any feedback that I didn't like. It was all positive and helpful for one I start to actually write down my essay.

The Sons of Katie Elder

Didion based a lot of her ideas on gender roll from the John Wayne movies. She said that John Wayne was a mans man. He never backed down and always did what was necessary. From the trailer of the Sons of Katie Elder you can see in the bar fight that he stepped up to protect his little brother when he got in some type of trouble. So in terms of being a man I think Didion learned that you have to stand up for what you believe in and you have to do whats necessary for your family. I guess you could say that the man in the family had to be the toughest one in the family and to whatever is needed to make sure that everyone else is happy. You can tell that she believes this because she falls in love with the line he says he will build her a house, at the bend in the river where the cottonwoods grow. 

In terms of a woman's role I guess you can say that women should find the right man to protect her and get her whatever she desires. However a woman still needs to be a little independent and help her man in the any way she can. This idea might be brought up with the fact of the women who tried to "tame" the Elder brothers. 

The movie that really changed my perception on things and really impacted my life was "Wall Street", not the one that just came out but the original that came before. I saw it when i was with my dad when i was about 13 and the movie really taught me a lot. It told me that the people who are always looking for handouts are weak and that if you really want something then you yourself need to go out and make it happen. Ever since then I have never asked anyone for money or a handout. I have this picture in my head of what i want to become and the only way that I will be about to reach that person is by doing it myself and not expecting anything from anyone. It also taught that most people have their own agendas and that I have to be careful of those agendas because they might come back to bite me. 

Shitty first drafts and me

The article had a lot of points that are very similar to what happens when I start writing my "Shitty first draft". The main aspect that I noticed with Anne is that when she starts writing she just lets it flow and whatever comes out in whatever order she just writes it down. I noticed with most of my writing the same thing happens to me. I start writing and just this influx of thoughts start rushing out and if I don't write it down I will most likely forget it in that split second. You'll probably notice that with this post cause I'll have a lot of grammatical or spelling errors. I think the way that Anne separated each component of her paper by draft was awesome. Each draft was directed towards a specific problem rather than trying to fix all of it in just one sitting.



Like Anne I kind of get all these ideas and most of the time don't write them down because I am so set on having a perfect first draft rather than a shitty one. I like her should probably just write down all my thoughts as they come even if they are in a disastrous order and later go back and take it apart one section at a time. I think what I get more carried away with while drafting is worrying about grammar and spelling. I am constantly stopping and trying to fix any spelling or grammar issue which I think takes a lot away from my writing cause I stop my train of thought to fix a meager problem which I can wait to fix a little later. What I don't really do is unfortunately is revise well. I look at my papers and think hey there perfect when in reality there is so many mistakes its not funny.


My writing is wood carving. I start out fast and then as I work I slow down a lot because I try to get the details perfect so when I am finished my creation is perfect the first time and I don't have to go back and keep working each detail.